Leadership Viewpoint

It is certainly challenging – deciphering what a poor communicator really meant to say, versus what “it sounded like” when they said it. For instance, a good friend makes a casual snide comment about you at a party. Does he or she really mean that you are “whatever”? Was it supposed to be funny? Is the person simply uncomfortable giving you a compliment and is expressing the opposite?

We see it so often in both our personal and professional lives – the stray comment that devastates others. Odds are that both parties would benefit from work on their communication skills.

1. Obviously we all need to learn to be clear, in both content and tone, when we speak and write. When we have more time, communication often goes better, so slowing down and thinking before we speak is a good start.

2. So too, we need to listen in a manner that gives the speaker the benefit of the doubt. And, when there is sufficient doubt, we need to probe to get at the speaker’s real meaning. Americans are notoriously poor listeners – we are usually only being quiet long waiting for the other person to stop talking so we can have our turn. That is not listening!

There are some simple circular processes that help us improve dramatically in this regard. Each of has a responsibility to both ourselves and others to improve our communication skills. Everybody around us is happier when we do.

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