Leadership Viewpoint

The realization that “who I am enters the room with me and is plainly visible to all” used to make me very uncomfortable. When I first heard this, I couldn’t accept it. I was certain that I could put my public face out there, and maintain privacy over my personal self. As a young manager, this seemed to be the way to go, two aspects to my life, separating business and personal distinctly. Yet, as I observed people that I truly liked and respected, I found that there was only one version of them. They seemed to somehow be an open book, and I found that to be a very attractive quality. Additionally, I found I was not fully achieving the outcomes I wanted in either of my separate lives.

Over time, I started putting my toes in the water of mixing my personal and business selves. What I mean by this is being open about my family and home life with business colleagues, and occasionally sharing business successes and challenges at home. When I ran the Chamber of Commerce, it became easier still, because my Board of Directors truly became friends with whom I did business. I found that the more crossover that occurred, the happier and more relaxed I became. As I relaxed, my ideas flowed more freely, and I didn’t need to try so hard. With better ideas, my business success improved further and I was able to laugh and have fun with everybody around me. That virtuous circle continues today, and serves me, my family, my friends and my business associates quite well.

Today I am convinced that “who I am enters the room with me and is plainly visible to all”. There’s really no doubt about it, yet I’m now quite comfortable with that reality. People see exactly ‘who I am’ as I instruct a class, coach an executive or debate a point. They either appreciate me for who I am or go elsewhere, and that’s okay. By letting go of my focus on protecting myself from being discovered, I am freed up to focus on others, making them comfortable and communicating clearly and well with them. I listen better, and learn from their knowledge and experiences, all of which makes me happier and still more comfortable with being ‘plainly visible to all’.

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