Leadership Viewpoint

We’ve all been guilty of wanting to prove our point so much that we miss opportunities for effectiveness. This week, we watched the U.S. Senate pull an ‘all-nighter’ to supposedly end the war in Iraq. The Press kept telling us before, during and after the event that it was largely a media event; it was doomed before it began. Ironically, after the escapade ended, one Republican senator commented that there were definitely more Republican votes that could have been swayed, but they were so offended by the media antics that they stood their ground with their Republican colleagues rather than break ranks in such a public forum. Clearly this is a critically important issue for the U.S. and many other countries. We hate to see anybody dally with it for their own personal gain.

Finding a reasonable way for the U.S. to exit from Iraq is far more important than most of the issues that we face at work. Even with less important issues, however, people often get so engrossed in proving their point that they may not see the forest through the trees. We need to consistently look for ways to achieve our goals, and the path is often with others rather than proving ourselves right at their expense. The old saying, “Hold your friends close and your enemies closer,” is fundamental to selling your proposals. If there’s a colleague that is likely to oppose your proposal, you can often save yourself time and pain by drawing them in and addressing their concerns, and giving them credit, upfront. They often have good reasons for their objections, and our proposal is truly stronger when we find ways to effectively address those reasons.

Perhaps the worst thing about proving ourselves right is that it too often means that we must simultaneously prove somebody else wrong. Remember how bad it feels to be that ‘wrong’ person. You lose face, and may even want to find an opportunity for retaliation. In the long haul, this is not a path to business success. Working with your potential opponents turns them into helpful colleagues, reduces tension and builds the effectiveness of your proposals. It may be more work, and you bypass the ‘joy’ of rubbing somebody else’s nose in it, but the long-term results are simply phenomenal.

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SEO (Search Engine Optimization) has become an issue that any online business agonizes over. I’ve heard that it’s all about keywords that are listed and used on your site. Others have told me that keywords no longer matter and that the addition of a Google sitemap is the driver behind SEO. I’ve also been told that getting lots of links to your site is what will drive SEO. So what’s the truth?

For a small business site, this one has good ranking and readership. Much of it came years ago, when we first posted articles online and scores of other sites linked to them. Maybe we are just lucky. Or maybe, just maybe, the main point of the web is to provide real value to your consumers. Consider the possibility that putting substantial content online will help your site more than all the strategies one can imagine. Develop original, meaningful content, and they will come…

We often encounter a similar, ‘manipulative’ approach to business too. I recently heard a young professional say, “Can’t you just make money off this?” to me as I was suggesting some ways to improve a program for a client. Sure, it’s easy to just make money off your clients, at least in the short term. Real, lasting business relationships, and your own self-esteem, come from doing the right thing for your clientèle, stretching yourself beyond your comfort zone in their best interests. Anybody can do the easy thing for their customers. Long-term partnerships come to those who do the extra something and ensure that their customer’s needs are fully met. Substance is truly the ante to play the game.

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“A rose by any other name would smell as sweet.” A colleague reminded me of the critical importance of selecting and using an engaging name for one of our community service activities. So often, we are caught up in the development of substance that issues of style evade our consciousness. It is almost always a mistake. Getting BOTH the substance and the style right is almost always the ante for big success.

What if you could add kindness to your repertoire? Would that enhance your effectiveness? What about humor? Might that support your communication? Many of us work very hard on ’substance’ thinking that this is sufficient to establish our credibility. We couldn’t be more wrong. Content merely puts us in the game. Whenever other people are involved, coupling that substance with appropriate style makes all the difference in our effectiveness.

Recall conversations where tone made the difference in interpretation, or when someone’s facial expression alerted you to their concerns - matters of style matter. So what is your style when communicating? Are you inviting others in, or pushing them away? Are you engaging them to open up and share, or shutting down discussion? Recall more than what was said; recall too the tone, the faces, the body language, the nervous ‘tells’, the colors and even the smells. They all add up the totality of the message, and that’s the real deal.

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