Leadership Viewpoint

While communication is always more art than science, it’s far easier to be effective when you have time to prepare your thoughts. In today’s fast paced, high pressure society, prep time is a luxury that often evades us. It’s these circumstances that derail many of us. While nobody gets it right all the time, there are some general approaches that help to increase our odds of success.

• Be sure to practice positive techniques whenever the pressure is off to develop strong reflexive skills.

• When someone ‘attacks’ or ‘embarrasses’ you, take a deep breath before responding. The old ‘count to ten’ technique truly works since it sends badly needed oxygen to the brain.

• Manage your emotions. That oxygen will come in handy here too!

• Focus on the issue at hand, not on any perceived personal attack. The only thing we can guarantee is that people will say stupid things. How we react to them will largely determine what people think of us. Ironically, when we become defensive, people often assume that we are insecure, probably with good reason! Instead, relax and refocus the discussion on the real issue.

If communication is an area of challenge for you, it may be smart to seek support. For more information and ideas, check out the link below.

Communication Skills: Master communications skills with easy tips. See yourself soaring to new levels of success. Learn more on communication, presentation skills, leadership and training.

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Effective leaders find ways to ensure that their team remains motivated and energized. For most people, that must include some ‘fun’ time. One of our clients went so far as to build a miniature golf course into their offices, including a hole to drop to the lower floor for the second nine! For most of us, it means keeping a sense of humor and encouraging the ‘office organizer’ to do their thing. Often there’s a person on the team that likes to plan an occasional party or outing. Let them do their thing, and provide them with support when it’s needed.

The bigger question that we often hear is about ‘boundaries’. What is appropriate? How do we know if they’ve gone too far? Here are the guidelines we use:

1. Fun activities during work hours are mandatory for team building reasons.
2. Fun activities outside work hours are optional, unless we’re on the road together.
3. No individual will be singled out for jokes or ridicule. Even if he or she can take it, it sets a poor precedent and may make others uncomfortable.
4. Sports or competitive activities must include a role for everyone. Different physical abilities must be accounted for so that everybody is comfortable and included. Scorekeeping, commentary, etc. can be part of the plan.
5. Sensitivity to corporate titles is minimal during fun activities. It’s the one time we’re all peers.

Let us know if you have ideas to add to our list!

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Have you ever struggled with the right balance of humor and fun in the workplace? Clearly we want our people to be happy and enjoy their workday, so some humor is appropriate. In fact, there’s plenty of research indicating that laughter is good for our health, our energy, our mindset, personal productivity and maintaining a positive approach to challenges. It’s also a fundamental ingredient to creativity, which is highly valuable to all successful businesses in our knowledge based workplace.

Conversely, we don’t want the atmosphere at work to become sophomoric or offensive to anyone. The only thing we can be reasonably sure of is that some people will get it wrong on occasion. So what are the guidelines to getting it right? Appropriate humor in the workplace helps to bond people together, rather than separating individuals or groups. This is bad news for Don Rickles’ genre humor, which picks on individual idiosyncrasies. Further, it’s bad news for blond jokes, or anything that victimizes a specific group or type of people. A better approach is to learn to laugh at ourselves and the everyday things that happen. Once our people see their leader relax and laugh, they feel comfortable following suit.

Many organizations, ours included, struggle with email jokes, which have truly become pervasive. In addition to the time wasted, concerns about legal liabilities in the case of an action become worrisome. Speak with both your attorney and your HR team to strike the right balance in your company communications regarding email. The goal is to be legally covered without becoming a sterile workplace. It can be a challenging balance to strike.

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As I reviewed my site statistics, I found that more people are interested in this topic than any other, so I figured I’d share a bit more on the topic. I laugh thinking that my stay-at-home mother never would have worried about this topic – truly this is a sign of the times. And the truth is, I gave her a hard time over the holidays last month when she marveled that her son had cooked a dish for Christmas dinner, while simultaneously taking it for granted that her daughter-in-law did pretty much everything else (while also working full time). My mother’s retort was that she takes it for granted that a woman will successfully multi-task!

My suspicion is that my mother’s thinking is commonplace, and that this type of thinking continues to put tremendous pressure on women to perform at unrealistic levels. As women try to live up to these unrealistic expectations, we become frustrated and place pressure on the men in our lives to help us, and then they feel the heat too. Of course, in households with a solitary adult, especially those with children present, the challenge of balancing work and home is often magnified. So what to do?

First, manage expectations. Communicate realistic expectations to those around you. This means sharing, with some clarity, exactly what you expect of both yourself and those around you. This applies both on the job and at home.

Second, set clear goals for each area of your life. There’s an excellent article (if I do say so myself!) that will walk you through this process here: http://www.adv-leadership-grp.com/Goal_Setting_Article.html.

Third, plan your time accordingly. This means scheduling fun, work, chores, down time, etc. People often tell me that they don’t think they should have to ‘schedule’ fun. Guess what? When they don’t schedule it in, they often don’t make time for it. If it’s important, be sure to actually schedule it.

Fourth, review what you’ve laid out every month or so, make any necessary adjustments and communicate those adjustments to everyone that matters in your life. Continually communicate and manage expectations. The more you communicate, the higher the odds that others in your life will find ways to support you and accept the resulting outcomes.

Of course, all this took your time, so go do something relaxing for yourself!

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As I sat with friends last evening, we reflected on the challenging times that we had each faced. Aside from my spouse’s death, which impact can never be equaled, I told of the difficult times the business faced post 9/11. The nation’s eyes were on retrenching then, not growth, and like many small and medium size businesses, our clientele pulled back. As we all reeled from the emotional trauma of the attack, businesses throughout the NYC extended metropolitan area were also faced with cancellations of orders and plans. Not only did we lose a substantial piece of business that we performed for a few clients in the World Trade Center’s extensive training center, but people needed time to heal, to feel secure again, and it took far more time in this part of the US than it did elsewhere. Our business was down dramatically for about a year after the attacks. So what did we do?

First, I remember agreeing to let each client cancel without penalty. It hurt us, but it seemed like the right thing to do at the time. Besides, we too needed time to heal. We are expected to be upbeat and positive, which is typically our normal state of being. We were devastated emotionally, and none of us are phony enough to pretend we’re upbeat after such a major shock. Then we did quite a few volunteer jobs, speaking to groups and helping out wherever we could. These led to a number of small programs for little companies that provided modest ‘survival’ income for several months. In our business, like many others, we have no guaranteed income.

We kept ourselves out in the business community, and kept holding to our values and beliefs. We continued to help out people and businesses that were in trouble, keeping our eye on doing the right thing. Hearing about us and our efforts, a large pharmaceutical company called and asked us to custom design a major program for them. That commenced about 14 months after the attack and got us completely back up on our feet. With time, our clientele all returned to normal operating levels.

There were times when we were each tempted to do something for quick easy money. We may have been able to gouge somebody or oversell more than a client really needed. We chose instead to scrape by with meager incomes, incur debt for a year and invest in our skills and character. I was never as proud of my team as I was that year, and I thank them from the bottom of my heart for standing together.

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Experts often discuss the need to keep a positive attitude. But what does that really mean? Are we all supposed to run around chanting positive things to ourselves and others all day long? Are we supposed to pretend that we aren’t hurt or angry when we feel pain? Should we smile and be cheerful no matter what is really happening?

If you aren’t accustomed to looking at everyday life with a “glass half-full” approach, the positive attitude thing can seem like a phony approach to life. People often ask me how they can honestly be happy and/or upbeat all the time. The answer for most of us is that we cannot.

What helps most people is keeping a sense of relativity. For instance, if you live in the United States, keep in mind that you are better off than about 90% of the world’s population in terms of standard of living. Even when the bills are piling up, or you are facing other pressures, keeping a sense of global perspective is a positive, healthy approach. The advantage that the positive approach tends to keep you calm, which allows you to focus and think clearly. That will take you a very long way toward solving your issue and moving forward, which will help you start a virtuous circle of success. With forward momentum, it becomes easier to have that positive attitude, and you can move into an upward spiral and more successes!

Our lives are better than we really think they are; it=s simply a question of focusing on the good things!

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Clients often discuss the need to work less and play more. Certainly there should be times when we feel as if we are working too much as business demands ebb and flow. This should not, however, be the case consistently. The good news is that this is a situation that we can change with a combination of focus and determination.

Along the way, somebody wise told me that we are what we do consistently. It’s a sentiment that I’ve come to accept and believe. I’ve also observed that we do the things we focus on. For instance, if I focus on home improvement, watching related television shows, reading about neat projects, taking courses on it, the odds are very high that I will undertake some related projects.

Similarly, I find that people whose life is out of balance focus extensively on one area of life, such as business. If the vast majority of our reading and television viewing is related to business issues, then let’s not be surprised that we are becoming obsessed. Loved ones are typically the ones who see it happening, and they may feel helpless to take action, sometimes describing it as feeling guilty that they are pulling us away from our work. Others feel resentful that we prefer work to spending time with them.

If this sounds all too familiar, there is a lot you can do about it. First, make the decision to change. There is immense power in that moment of decision. Next, evaluate the areas of your life and set some SMART goals. You can find a detailed piece on this here:

www.adv-leadership-grp.com/Goal_Setting_Article.html

Finally, behave in a more balanced way consistently, and you too will become what you do – all for the better!

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I have to do this. My spouse wants me to do that. It wouldn’t be the holidays unless I do… Blah blah blah!

Too many of us run around like crazy people at this time of year. Calm down. We get the really important things done. We do the things we really want to do. There’s no reason that absolutely everything must happen by a specific date. Some things can wait. Plan accordingly.

An old friend and I decided to wait until January to exchange gifts. Why? Because we want to take the time to enjoy each other’s company and focus on each other and the sentiment behind the lovely gifts. Besides, another rich meal is about the last thing either of us need right now. We might even be hungry again by January!

You have a choice – pick and choose – and enjoy the season!

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Holiday Stress

As we work with a myriad of people during this particularly harried time of year, it occurs to me that stress and time management techniques simply must come to the fore. First, stop and take a deep breath – your brain deserves some oxygen! Now take a moment and prioritize your tasks.

- What really needs to be done and when?
- What would be nice if you had the time?
- What are you really dreading?
- Can it be delegated or hired out?

A few moments of planning will pay huge dividends right now. Take another deep breath. You’re worth it!

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